Update from my Quarantine Bunker

     For the past two weeks, I have been very sick with a respiratory virus.  I have severe asthma, deadly food allergies, eczema, raynaud's disease, and I likely have some rheumatoid arthritis going on as well.  My immune system is a hot mess and not very good at it's job.  When I get sick I get completely wiped out.  I have been completely wiped out for two weeks.
     The good news is that I tested negative for COVID-19.  My doctor says that does not mean I never had it, that only means I am not actively emanating infectious virus particles that could sicken people.
     I was so sick of being sick and not being able to breathe, I caved and started taking prednisone for my asthma and a Z-Pack for my respiratory infection Sunday.  I am feeling a lot better but I'm still not even remotely back to normal.  I don't really have a normal because I am chronically ill.  I didn't want to take medicine.  I wanted my body to work normally and I wanted my immune system to do it's fucking job.  I feel like my body has failed me when I get very sick and I have to take medication.

  Let me gripe about my immune system, or my nickname for it, 'the hot mess express.'  My immune system will freak out and my skin will hurt and burn when I wear clothes washed with chemical fragrances.  But can my stupid ass immune system pull itself together to fight a secondary bacterial lung infection so I don't have to take antibiotics? Hell no!  I've been feeding it the right vitamins, supplements, and healing teas and herbs. I guess the point of my healthy lifestyle is that so far it has kept me from getting COVID-19 at Urgent Care or the hospital's emergency room.
   I've been plotting like crazy.  I've been dreaming up the next adventure I will go on.  I've been turning on my heater, getting into my cozy bed and looking at travel guidebooks and in my mind I've been visiting hot springs in nature.  When my body starts working properly again I will be unstoppable.  That's not true. That's a lie.  My body will never work properly.  That's not what it does.  When my body stops being so wheezy, infected, sick, and tired I am going to use it to enjoy my life.  I have a plan.
    I guess I am sort of grateful that I get sick a lot and I am chronically ill.  My illness reminds me that I am not a normal person and that when I am healthy, I am more active than most people.  I take vacations, I travel, I go to places, often by myself because I know that the brief respite from illness is only going to be brief.  I'm fully aware that the window of opportunity for adventure and travel will close momentarily.
   It is 4:40 PM on Wednesday March 25th.  I have written five paragraphs.  This is my sixth.  I am extremely tired and I am going to take a nap after this.  I ate once today, not much, but it was something. I am looking forward to roasting the cauliflower in my refrigerator.
  My friend's neighbor played in a small ukulele band, and that about a month ago they played a show in a nursing home for the residents.  It was really nice of them to play little guitars and sing to the people at the nursing home.  Well, last night I learned the entire band got sick with COVID-19, and two of the band members died.  They weren't even that old!  Mid-fifties!  They still got COVID-19 and they still died.  My friend's neighbors are recovering in complete quarantine isolation.  This virus is -really serious.  This virus does not care.
   There are lovely things and nice things that people are doing for each other and it warms my heart.  My friend Jay went to the pharmacy and picked up my asthma medications for me.  He left them on my porch and he even paid the copay.  He also left me some toilet paper and a bag of food.
     Two days ago I was brave and I gloved up and I walked to the grocery store at like 9:30 PM at night.  I also wore a mask. I didn't want to give my respiratory illness to other people, even though science tells me it wasn't COVID-19.
  Earlier today I got out my fish oil from the refrigerator and dropped it and then I cleaned up a mess of spilled lemon fish oil.  That was exciting.
     I really miss having a cat.  I miss the cuddles and I miss the love.  My sister called me complaining about her cat, how the cat always wants attention and won't let my sister meditate and interrupts her while she works from home.  I wish I had an emotionally and psychologically needy animal that wanted to devour all of my time and energy like my sister does.
    A few days ago I texted my brother and sister pictures I took of my feet.  I was bored and I wanted to annoy them, like any good older sister.  I'm sure they hate me and I'm also sure that my sister has now blocked me on her phone.  I encourage everybody to reach out and annoy their loved ones during this difficult time.
        Last week I had to give my final presentation for my Cultural Competency class.  It was my first final presentation given remotely using an app from my living room.  I love talking in front of large groups of people.  I was probably the only person in the class that was bummed not to have a live audience watching me. I used makeup to cover up the dark circles and puffiness under my eyes and I think it worked and my remote-presentation went very well.  Here is the test shot of my makeup before last week's final presentation:

     I am getting really tired.  I ate food, but I'm still wiped out.  I'm going to try for a nap today.  Everybody: hang in there!  I love you a lot!